Monday, 9 April 2012

R.I.P


R.I.P BRENDON ANNESLEY
In respect for the written/printed word my eulogy for this magician of words is confined to the intro of Issue 20, if you want to read it, get the zine.  What follows is the original intro which needed to make way due to the untimely demise of the gutter dweller himself.

INTRO- Giving up or handing over complete creative control of this zine was much harder than I ever imagined. Having pleaded throughout multiple back issues for people to come and get involved in this here fanzine by contributing their own interviews or pieces and having zero interest from any parties at all I had begun to grow accustomed to doing it all myself. As you may have noticed the cover of this here issue is vastly different than anything I would have ever been able to come up with, it was done by my friend Brendan Boucher, and as you can see, he has a strong graphic design background. We met on a fucking forum of all places after we found a mutual enjoyment of Blank Dogs, times have changed somewhat and our musical similarities have gone their own ways with him pursuing minimal wave and me, well me devouring whatever people talk about on the Jerkbooth so it may seem. He had been emailing the gentleman in charge of Three Toed Sloth and other endeavors and he and I spoke about me printing his correspondence in these here pages, truth be told, I got the Three Toed Sloth LP years ago and it is still sitting in the “to be listened to” pile, but that isn’t the point here really, the point is that someone cared enough to wanna be a part of something so insignificant and miniscule as a piss-ant zine such as this and they followed through with it…amazing. So this zine is a collaboration of sorts, it is a testament to what can be achieved when you give up and stop trying. Brendan provided also some reviews along with the cover design (and money to print it..thankyou) and the Three Toed Sloth/Exiles From Clowntown expose, Mat Nichols provided the William Basinski interview which was conducted years ago yet never used as the zine it was intended for never eventuated, and I wrote some reviews and interviewed the rest of the bands found within. Now getting back to that creative control dilemma I had created lying in bed tossing and turning as I felt my body of work going in a direction that I couldn’t mould and manipulate while simultaneously slapping myself back into reality with the knowledge that I would be the only one who would care. It has been a real eye opener to me as I let my maniacal, ego driven need to control each and every aspect of this zine slip slowly through my fingers, this whole process has highlighted many things to me, most obviously, my sheer ineptitude when it comes to producing this fucking thing, just one look at a trained Graphic Designers facial expression as it slides downwards towards the floor as he realizes the mess he has gotten himself into coupled together with my insecurities over something that I try and tell myself is just a hobby or way to burn money and time only shows just how big a part of my life Down and Out really is. I am thankful for all the contributions found in this issue and while I possibly wont ever do it again in the same way, I am still acutely aware of how something that means so much to me is simply a mere blip on most everyone else’s radar out there, that further cements why I do this zine, because I can and because I want to. Simple as that.   

One edit to that is that I now have in fact listened to the Three Toed Sloth LP numerous times and unsurprisingly it is fucking excellent!

BA photo taken by Brendan Boucher