Monday, 6 November 2017

REVIEW


ROBBER-S/T LP

Things I have heard about Martin Bryant

1-He drowned his father in the family dam.

2-While sitting in the passenger side of a car he was known to lean across and pull on the steering wheel. This is how the person he inherited money from (as well as the house seen in the above photo) died.

3-He used to show pornography to his next door neighbours kids when they visited.

4-He permanently bolted a surfboard to the roof of his yellow Volvo to look like an avid surfer.

5-He planned to carry out his attack on the ferry that went to the Isle of the Dead, but a parking attendant at Port Arthur told him to move his car, and while doing so the ferry left without him.

6-Visitors to Port Arthur thought that when Bryant was shooting the shit out of the Broad Arrow Café it was actually some sort of display or attraction being held by the site, and they ran towards it to take part in the event.

7-There was a second shooter.

8-The Government bought refrigerated trucks just a few weeks prior to the attack, the same refrigerated trucks were used to transport the bodies of Bryant's victims.

9-My mum called me out into the backyard to look at the helicopters flying over-head, we didn't know at the time there was bullet riddled victims of a mass shooting inside of them.

10-He chased two sisters out of the Port Arthur carpark and into the surrounding bush. While they were hiding behind a tree he snuck up and shot one, letting the other one live. Cold fucker.

11-One victim inside the Broad Arrow café pulled his now fiancé's (he had proposed to her that day) lifeless corpse on top of himself to hide from Bryant's onslaught.

12-Tasmanian police responsible for this area were attending a drug tip off (one of the first of its kind for that particular area) which turned out to be a hoax, resulting in the longer than usual response time to the attack.

13-A trained police sniper in the unit camped out around the hotel Bryant holed himself up in, had his sights lined up on Martin as his scorched and burnt body exited the hotel. Little did he know that family members of his were killed in the mass shooting, he missed his one chance to exact revenge.

14-This is Australia's worst mass murder in History.

15-Robber sound like all of the above and more. This LP is pure Australiana, the malice, the murder, the fuck-ups, the loners, the degenerates and the deros.

(the above statements may not represent actual facts and should not be taken as gospel)